My previous entry’s rant was so much fun, I have a few more complaints to get off my chest.
By Hannah Wallace
* There are 162 games in a Major League Baseball team’s regular season. 162. Can someone tell me why the dips in Patrick’s on Thursday insisted on watching the Mets’ ninth outing of 2007 instead of the Lightning playoff game? I know he’s a Lakewood Ranch grad and everything, but Lastings Milledge is in Triple-A now. C’mon, people: Drop that puck.
* Studio 60, it seems, is not coming back after all. Arguments of quality versus ratings, ideals versus money, and all other ramblings aside: NBC can bite me.
* United Healthcare can also bite me. Which it would be happy to do, I’m sure, because when I go to a doctor to get the bite stitched up (OK, OK, so he wasn’t on the plan), United Healthcare would refuse to pay for it.
* “The Florida No-Fault hotline has been ringing off the wall.” If you mangle a cliché, you forfeit your right to make annoying commercials.
* I have to relocate my gorgeous, framed, black-and-white photo of Ralph Fiennes, purchased at the National Portrait Gallery in London, because ew: http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,21205870-2,00.html
* And speaking of reasons I can’t watch Quiz Show anymore, Rob Morrow has a daughter named Tu. Tu Morrow. I really liked him, too. Now I do not really like him, Tu.
* Dear Mr. Peterson, construction on your Houses of Indian Beach project has forced me to reroute my morning run. Please remedy. Sincerely, Hannah. P.S. You keep building massive projects in neighborhoods where I live. Desist immediately.