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The Velvet Hammer

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Danny’s a winner! (And I? Am kind of a loser.)   By Hannah Wallace     Knock on wood, three boxes of Kleenex, 12 Sudafed and a can of matzo ball soup, I think I finally shook this damn cold. And maybe it was the phenylephrine, but really do see a link between the vacation […]

May 15, 2009





Danny’s a winner! (And I? Am kind of a loser.)

 

By Hannah Wallace

 

 

Knock on wood, three boxes of Kleenex, 12 Sudafed and a can of matzo ball soup, I think I finally shook this damn cold. And maybe it was the phenylephrine, but really do see a link between the vacation mindset and, well, debilitating viral infection. For me, anyway: They both remove the obligation for constant productivity. I mean, I prefer a beachfront resort, but a week on the couch watching Sports Night DVDs will work, too. I’ll fold the laundry next week.

 

 Sarasota’s own Danny Veltri.

 

I couldn’t resist naming this entry in honor of Sarasota’s Danny and his Hell’s Kitchen win. He even gave a hometown shout out in the finale last night, when he explained to Chef Ramsay that “everyone in Sarasota” calls him “Velvet Hammer,” which…ok, no, but maybe just this once, ‘cause he did win and all. He’s our culinary Syesha! Although something makes me think he won’t make the cover of our Charity Register

 

Not that I can talk about nicknames. A couple of wiseass, sarcastic hockey players started calling me “Hammer” after my hockey “fight” a few months back, and now half the damn kickball team calls me that. Which explains why I keep popping out. They’re going to have to change it to…I don’t know…“Compressed-Air Duster” or something.

 

        

 

Which one of these items do I resemble more?

 

Speaking of the SH-T Kickers, it’s our final game of the season tonight, and we’ve got first place all locked up going into the playoffs! This has perhaps inspired a tad too much confidence in some people (ahem, team captain Rock Star Kim), who’ve dubbed tonight’s game a homerun derby and are placing bets on who can get a four-bagger (not an easy task with a playground ball, let me tell you). Experience tells me that this kind of bravado most likely leads to embarrassment, but…it’s kickball. Boat’s kind of sailed.

 

 CCB straps on his boots in preparation for our big, bouncy adversary.

 

So in the interest in giving Rock Star Kim a new (old) hobby, check out Creative Loafing’s local music play list—what a fantastic idea—and then lean on Kim and the Nuevos to get their asses back to playing gigs. I miss being “with the band”…even the vegan, Kangaroo-wearing, SH-T-talking band.