Health & Fitness

Past Articles



Springtime Tour Guide

By:

Years ago, when I was in high school, my mom was suffering through a production of Noises Off in which she’d already had to replace several actors mid-run, requiring countless extra rehearsals to get the replacements up to speed in the head-spinningly complicated farce. One afternoon, I ran to the back yard to tell Mom […]

April 1, 2011


Share via email
+1Share on LinkedIn

Years ago, when I was in high school, my mom was suffering through a production of Noises Off in which she’d already had to replace several actors mid-run, requiring countless extra rehearsals to get the replacements up to speed in the head-spinningly complicated farce. One afternoon, I ran to the back yard to tell Mom she had a phone call—it was the lead actor, saying he couldn’t perform that evening. She made a face that was painful to me, and she started storming toward the door. “Oh my god, April Fool’s!” I shouted before she got past me. It was terrifying.

 

I’m not good at purposefully creating awkwardness. I’m wired to avoid it at all costs.

 

So we’ll see what today has in store. No one’s pranked me yet (…that I’m aware). There are a few good sites for April Fooling; Think Geek famously advertises fake products every April 1—the demand for which has resulted in them actually creating and selling things that were initially ruses. (This is one of my favorites.) Woot has a “wootoff” consisting only of bags of Random Crap. And Google’s always good for a laugh.

 

I couldn’t have planned a prank even if I’d wanted to; I’ve been too busy dreaming up things to do with Thing 2, who’s in town until Sunday. I love playing tour guide. Thing 2, who hasn’t lived in Sarasota since moving away for college, lamented how little she knows about the area over pizza and beer at Rico’s on Wednesday. “Between church, violin lessons, trips to the beach and everything else,” she mused, “how many times have we driven by this place? A million? And I’ve never even been to this little shopping center.”

 THING-2-001.jpg
Thing 2 and I

Sure enough, if I’d left after high school, I wouldn’t know a fool thing about the area. I couldn’t navigate downtown—save for getting to the church and the movie theater—until I was 23 and working for InParadise magazine. But now I love the excuse to call upon my familiarity and then use it to see my same-old same-olds with fresh eyes. Last week I sent Thing 2 an email outlining some of the possibilities: jazz at Rico’s, BBQ at Nancy’s, Pangea, Emerson Point, etc. etc.

    THING-2-002.jpg
Lunch at Nancy’s

And I think we’ve done pretty well so far. It’s easy to make Rico’s happen (not a ton of competition on a Wednesday night). Thursday night we had sis and the ‘rents over for dinner: macadamia-crusted mahi with sweet potato chips and home-grown sugar-snap peas, all courtesy of Chef CCB. Today we braved the lines at Nancy’s for that kickass culinary experience, and tonight we’re gonna dress Thing 2 up in hockey gear, shove a stick in her hand and toss her on the ice—“reward” for graciously designing the flyers for our women’s hockey clinic.

 Flyer-small.jpgflyer2-small.jpg
The hockey clinic flyers created by Thing 2

And though we’d planned on going there anyway, Saturday is Pangea’s “grand opening,” apparently, so after a nice dinner, we’re gonna get a little fancy, grab Big J, Little J and whomever else and get our chill on.

 THING-2-003.jpg
A little post-lunch stroll around Laurel Park

It’ll be good to play tour guide—one last time, alas. CCB’s finagled a decent-size pay raise, but it means a move. Come August, I’ll be celebrating my birthday as a resident of beautiful Fayetteville, NC. It’s actually pretty exciting, except all of the logistics, of course, with the—

 

…yeah, ok, April Fool’s. Y’see? I even suck at it in writing.