The things I do when I should be writing.
This whole week (and last weekend, argh) I’ve been having a particularly arduous time writing an article that was due…well, last week, really, if not earlier. I was camped out in front of my laptop in my apartment for several very, very long days (and nights)—which, of course, meant that, in addition to being creatively constipated, I had a whole Internet’s worth of things to do—including people to bug via instant message—when I needed a mental reset. (It also meant there was no way I was writing a coherent blog today.) Here are some of the things I did online this week to slow my slip into insanity:
  • Searched YouTube for a clip of the kiss from last week’s House episode; watched repeatedly.
  • Helped Cheetah Club Boyfriend buy a wedding present online; learned of Big Brotherly censorship at
CCB: Ok, I’m getting them salad tongs and a corkscrew.
ME: Good choice.
CCB: Goddammit, they won’t let me gift wrap the corkscrew.
ME: You should explain that in the personalized message.
CCB: They just rejected my message for inappropriate content.
    • Fell in love with Englishman Hugh Laurie for his flawless American accent as House; went just a wee bit crazy trying to convince Little J.


OH, HUGH: Certainly better than pictures of him from Blackadder.
ME: “Cancer” must be a hard word to Americanize, the nasal A and post-vocalic R.
LJ: I agree.
ME: Caaaaancerrrrr. Caaaaaaaaaaaancerrrrrrrrr.
LJ: Are you having a stroke?
    • Googled myself; cursed that stupid Hannah Wallace adoption lady and her Honduran baby for taking the top spots on the list.


BAMBOOGLED: Damn you, Hannah Wallace!
Stop stealing my Google thunder!
  • Changed my IM icon to a picture of the other Hannah Wallace; changed my IM icon to a picture of a Honduran baby; changed my IM icon to a picture of Hugh Laurie.
  • Harassed my mother with frustrated IMs each and every time she came online.
MOM: I’m so sorry. I have to go now…
  • Thought up analogies for the amount of effort it was taking to write my article; shared them with Little J.
ME: It’s like getting stuck halfway through a pull-up.
ME: Or, OK, it’s like trying make a U-turn without power steering.
LJ: Interesting.
ME: It’s like an English actor trying to say “cancer” with an American accent.
LJ: Seriously? Stop watching that House clip.