Keeping cool with indoor exercise and questionable recreational activities.
By Hannah Wallace
Damn, but it’s hot outside. Completely changes my approach to getting things done. Thanks to my downtown YMCA membership, I’ve added lunchtime treadmill sessions to my stay-cool exercise regime of air-conditioned indoor soccer and, y’know, ice hockey. The exercise is a great afternoon energy boost. And in this humidity, the midday shower helps, too. Plus, I’ve already seen one coworker and two Asolo-ites at that mecca for Sarasota gym rats. It’d be great for networking…y’know, if I weren’t all sweaty and gasping for air.

Even my mother’s looking for cooler activities. An Ohio native, she’s been thinking about ice skating since I got into hockey. But as a boomer who hasn’t skated in years, she’s afraid she’ll hurt herself. “Easy enough,” I said. “Wear hockey gear.” And to my surprise, she agreed. She’ll be suited up and on the ice with us for a Friday-night practice July 18—and you better believe there’ll be pictures. Thought you had a good excuse for not getting off the couch and onto the ice, the field or the court? Yeah, not so much.

Mom gets her athletic reflexes warmed up playing Mario Kart with Stage Manager J.

Ma gets her athletic reflexes warmed up playing Mario Kart with Stage Manager J. 


‘Course, Ma’s always been wicked athletic, and I’m not above cross-checking loved ones if she schools me. Just ask CCB.
But it’s not just about exercise. Work’s affected by the summertime, too. While everyone talks about using the slow months to get ahead, I’m inundated with pleas to be included in September’s Charity Register, which, in this economy,are even more urgent than usual. Nonprofit organizations are gearing up for the coming fall. (Er, that is, autumn.)

And just this Friday, our boss, editorial director Pam Daniel, tasked us with disposing of all the press samples she’d received this past editorial season. Of course, by “press samples” I mean “bottles of wine.” And by “disposing of” I mean “guzzling.”

A serene setting for a Friday-night wine tasting. 

Actually, it was a lovely wine tasting party in her bayfront back yard. Funny how having to rely on the air conditioning all day makes you even more determined to spend time outside. And what could be more Sarasota than a bunch of grammar nerds and foodies sipping Chablis and eating sliders, watching the thunderstorms roll in from the bay and naming the snook that swim around the underwater lights?

Yeah, but enough of that classy crap. I wanna talk about strippers and explosives. Again.
We celebrated the Fourth last weekend at the annual Slap Shot Party, which is famous for turning hockey players into cavalier junior pyro-technicians. However, their attempt to become junior pole dancers did not go so well. See the calamity on You Tube (search for “Danger on the pole”). Leave it to the professionals, guys; you’d never see the Cheetah Club gals work in such unsafe conditions.

(The evil cackle 10 seconds into that video is cameraman CCB, obviously on his way to becoming a professional photojournalist.)

Bad ideas abound at the Slap Shot Party. 

In that cultural vein, we’ll forego the fireworks this Friday to rest up for the weekend’s other activities: Early Saturday morning I’m off for a romantic stay in Daytona with CCB…and three of his coworkers. In a Winnebago. At a Nascar race. Yeah, I don’t know why, either. (Say it with me, now: hot dogs and beer!) My Stetson soccer team ran a concession stand at the Daytona 500 a few times. I…don’t know what else to say about that. Let’s go…cars?

Still, it’ll be nice to sit outside in appreciation (or defiance?) of summer. Besides, we may have our nonprofits and wine tastings, but some summertime experiences can’t be had in Sarasota. Remember: It’s important to be well-rounded.