Our house party is a success!
By Hannah Wallace



The star of our show, waiting and ready for the curtain to rise. 

Well, the keg is floating, the balloons are popped and there are baked beans on the rug—Kegtacular II has come and gone.

Let me get the disappointments out of the way. First of all, for my 29th birthday on Friday, God gave me a cold. Thanks, God, it’s just my size. So Saturday morning I lay in bed, Nyquil-addled, and wondered how on earth I would have the energy to stay upright, much less launch myself down the Slip ‘n Slide.


The balloons gather to watch a little pre-Kegtacular soccer.

Secondly, the turnout—20-odd people. Enough to float the keg, but not quite what we’d hoped for. A number of RSVPs flaked out on us (and will pay dearly for the insult). Unfortunately, the same qualities that would’ve made them exciting attendees also make them somewhat unreliable.

Fortunately, the folks who did arrive were cool as hell and seemed to have a pretty good time.


And, meeting one of my requirements for a good party, there was a great mix of guests from different parts of our lives: Among them, CCB’s IT coworkers, my pals Big J and Little J, hockey players like the Harribles, Super Ref, Captain Beerslinger, and the Ice Hogs’ Karen and Andrea from Jake’s Downtown. In addition to being plenty entertaining in their own right, Karen and Andrea brought Rock Band for Wii, which was that magical party activity that gets people excited about making fools of themselves (see also: Slip n’ Slide, lower in this entry).


Karen and IT Guy Greg validated our decision to put the dart board in the garage.

In fact, our many toys came to good use, pulling the party to various activities in various rooms simultaneously, which is another of my party hallmarks. In front of the TV, Captain Beerslinger was singing “Suffragette City,” accompanied by Coach Mr. Harrible on drums, while in the garage IT Guy Greg and Karen played something they’d frighteningly labeled “Power Darts,” as Mr. Super Ref looked on from a safe distance, smoking a cigar in the driveway. Beer pong on the lanai, hot dogs in the kitchen, cryptic balloon games in the living room. But nothing lived up to its entertainment potential quite like the Slip ‘n Slide. Observe:


Kegtacular II--Best trick from Hannah Wallace on Vimeo.


(Search Vimeo for "Kegtacular" to see a video version of the above Slip ‘n Slide duel. Although a warning: There’s a few foul words on that one that make it not quite safe for work.)

And so you know, this is not the story of irresponsible teenagers gone amok. The average age was well over 30. By the time young ‘uns Jenny Beres and English footballer Aaron showed up, the party had certainly peaked. But CCB, impeccable host that he is, treated them to a midnight reprisal of his one-man backyard show, CCB is a Whirling Dervish. Co-starring the Slip n’ Slide, the innertube, the neighbor’s fence and one of the horseshoes stakes. He’s so dedicated to his craft.
(His encore, Taquitos on the Floor, is still being reworked.)


The artist prepares.


In the end, everyone had burned away a good bit of energy and stress. And brain cells. Another sign of a good party. And so, with a couple of guys crashed on the couches, the Harribles in the guest room and an uncovered tub of potato salad on the lanai, we ended the evening with dreams of Kegtacular III. See you there?


THE AFTERMATH: Oh, the balloonmanity!