This year, my Thanksgiving comes with a lot of extras.
By Hannah Wallace
Apparently finishing a feature and frying a turkey didn’t add up to enough stress this week, so I went out and bought a car.

I have to admit, I was expecting a much more horrible experience, but we went from strolling the Firkins lot Saturday night to signing the papers Tuesday. Probably just as well, since the Seafoam Monster has been a bit more monstrous of late. The new ride is a 2007 Dodge Caliber, bright red. In honor of Thanksgiving, it shall be called the Big Red Wattle Wagon. (Or “the Big Red Waddle Wagon,” as I’d originally spelled it—also appropriate.)

Awesomely, I forgot to take my keys with me when we went to take this picture, so it sort of looks like I just plopped on some random person's car. I can assure you, that is not the case, however.

The Firkins staff were overall pretty great, although when it came time to get down to it, they did do an entertaining version of the Salesman’s Tango—the manager and finance manager coming in and out of the room, talking to each other on the phone, “discovering” coupons to buy down the APR. When all was said and done, CCB and I drove the Wattle home and watched Glengary Glen Ross. Put down the turkey. Turkey is for closers.

The Big Red Wattle Wagon


So among the things I’m thankful for this Thanksgiving are an outstanding credit rating and operational air conditioning.

I’m also thankful for Thanksgiving with my parents, which ensures that even if CCB and I burn the beans, the potatoes and the stuffing and set the turkey (and the backyard) on fire, we’ll still have Mom’s homemade rolls, sweet potato casserole and pecan pie.
Since my parents stopped hosting Thanksgiving dinner (and I stopped living with them), it’s been forever since I could spend the entirety of Thanksgiving Day, from Macy’s to midnight, at home, without worry of being anywhere on time or changing out of my pajamas, even. Throw in a propane tank and some football, sounds pretty damn perfect to me.
Here’s hoping all of you out there have a tasty, cozy, fire-free holiday!