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My sporting activities wind down as the holiday season—starring Chrappy Christmas—heats up.


By Hannah Wallace


Sports sports sports. Both kickball and hockey ended for 2009 this past weekend. While the SH-T Kickers played in the Div. I semi-final and championship games Friday night, Mrs. Harrible, CCB and I were off at a hockey tournament. Still, I honored their efforts by wearing my Kickers jersey under my hockey gear. (And…both of my teams lost that night. Which is exactly why I shouldn’t honor things so much.)


I don my kickball jersey for Friday night's hockey game.


In other sporting news, the Pittsburgh Pirates Tuesday are unveiling their new high-A minor-league team, which will be calling Bradenton’s McKechnie Field home. Finally that beautiful stadium will be used for more than one month a year. And I am tooootally buying merchandise for a pro sports team from Bradenton.


Also Tuesday is the opening of the 13th Avenue Community Center, which was the star of the ridiculously awesome Champs Celebrity Sports Night. I’m going to be at that event, too, but I really just wanted an excuse to show this picture again:



Did everybody see the Uppercut shout-out (with a dash of Hannah-acknowledgement) in Creative Loafing’s DIY Holiday Guide last week? Between Aaron Jaco and my fans over at the Hi-Way, I should open up a marketing agency for pugilism and dive bars. Punch-Drunk PR—whaddya think?


And I could be my own client! CCB and I host the second-annual Chrappy Christmas—sure to involve both drinking and brawling—this Saturday. I don’t want to jinx anything here, but people seem pretty excited about it. I’ve said before, attendance makes the party, and even without Top-Dog Tom (whose son has a hockey tournament) and Harm-o the Goalie (whose own upcoming progeny keeps him pretty well house-bound looking after his wife—as it should be), a great variety of folks tell us they’re gearing up for the holiday tacky-fest. I’ll let you know next week how it goes, but we’re expecting chocolate-covered bacon and at least four Canadians in attendance—I mean, really, how could we go wrong?


So, as if it’s not bad enough that all of my sporting activities are winding down for the year (except for holiday-hating Aaron Jaco, who’s actually added a $10 Tuesday-night resistance training class at Uppercut), I’ve got endless restaurant gift cards and parental dinner invitations to fill up my week—and my waistline, dammit. This week alone, instead of YouFit, kickball and hockey, it’s Cody’s with the ‘rents on Tuesday, Lee Roy Selmon’s and my Club 63 free-appetizer coupon on Friday, and then Anna Maria Oyster Bar with a gift card on Sunday—not to mention our office Christmas luncheon on Thursday, which, what the hell, I might as well bring fettuccine Alfredo with lard-balls for how healthy I’m going to be.


At least carrying around my fat ass all Christmas will keep my legs strong. Hockey starts back up Jan 3. By then I’ll be ready to throw my weight around.