I confess to being a home cook with a whole lotta rules. I refuse to have cans or bottles on the dinner table. I want condiments either used in the kitchen beforehand or served in a ramekin, and for goodness’ sakes—the television on even in the next room while we are eating any meal of the day is beyond demerit worthy. I will not permit take-out containers of any kind on the table, including a pizza box. I do, however, allow “pick as you cook” (aka standing and noshing in the kitchen).

Caught in the act!

In the restaurant business, you walk around with spoons and taste all day long. You grab a piece of “this” to make sure it is properly seasoned and you taste a bit of “that” to ensure a consistent product. In fact, I think my husband’s constant picking of the salad was part of our compatibility. So, when our friend Jeff Kaine asked me if I believed in the “standing rule” in the kitchen, of course I said yes. I thought it to be an innocent question. And Jeff was asking me lots of questions like, “Where have you been eating lately? And “Where should we all go to dinner?” You know those simple little questions that certainly do not make you feel you are about to get into a culinary marital dispute.

Now, little did I know that Jeff’s wife, our dear friend Bambi Famous-Kaine, had a “No eating while standing rule” in her own kitchen. So of course, Jeff immediately threw me under the kitchen rule bus, so to speak. Apparently, Bambi’s disapproval of standing while munching is non-negotiable, and I fear being in a tasting dilemma. I think we all agree that eating in front of an open refrigerator is beyond just breaking the rules, but picking a few pieces of salad or stealing a slice of steak before it goes on the serving platter is just part of the immense pleasure of cooking.

Jeff Kaine and Bambi Famous-Kaine

So now Jeff seems to be quoting me as he stands and consumes and Bambi seems to be at a loss for my, how shall we say, betrayal of eating etiquette.

Do you have kitchen rules? Let me know by clicking on the comment button. You never know when you might be in the next printing of Emily Post