Been a rough couple of weeks trying to hammer out a (massive, complicated, touchy-subject) feature. Spent a lot of time playing that weary, disheveled role, like in college when you take pride in the fact that you haven’t slept all night, haven’t been out of your pajamas all day, haven’t showered since Tuesday, everything’s all coffee and cigarettes—and you got an A on that paper, dammit.
My view Tuesday at about 1:30 a.m. Watching No Country for Old Men in the middle of the night while writing about prison is a surefire way to freak yourself the hell out.
So here are a few things that have been rolling around in my word-addled mind this week.
Text conversation between CCB and Mrs. Deelio
MRS. DEELIO: My coworker’s uncle does taxidermy. She is going to see if he can make four squirrel coozies…
CCB: I want a kitten coozie.
MRS. DEELIO: You will get a squirrel and you will love it. And name it Franklin.
CCB: No. I will get a kitten and I will bedazzle the hell out of it.
When we lived in Gillespie Park, Little J and I used to hang out with the Mexican neighbors, who spoke English a bit better than Little J spoke Spanish, so we had a pretty good time trying to communicate with each other. I once asked them where they were from, and I swear to god, I heard them say, “Michigan.” I was all, “Isn’t it cold up there?” and then chalked up the confused reaction to the language barrier. Later—years later, way too long later—it dawned on me: They’re from the Mexican state of Michoacan. Me = crazy white girl.
My horoscope on Wednesday advised me to "express any anger you are feeling as gently as possible." That, I remarked at the time, makes me want to punch an astrologist.
Text conversation between CCB and Mrs. Deelio (continued)
CCB: Where is Mr. Deelio and why isn’t he reading his texts?
MRS. DEELIO: He’s at work. Somebody’s got to support my PBR habit.
CCB: Can’t you do that by just turning the cans back in?
It’s always fun when Bradenton and Sarasota get mentioned in passing in TV shows. Sarasota was mentioned two different times in The West Wing (once as a soldier’s hometown, and once as the headquarters for “The Citizens' League for a Rooty-Tooty Freedom Liberty”). But, as we caught up on season five of Dexter, Bradenton got a mention—as in, “You won’t be able to find those documents because they’re probably locked away in a storage unit in Bradenton.” You gotta wonder if they just wanted to name a random city or if Bradenton has some kind of storage-unit reputation.
Things I didn’t expect to find at Walgreen’s
Singing Justin Beiber toothbrush; gummy “body part” sushi.
Today’s award for the Best Voicemail Signoff
“If I don’t hear from you, have a great weekend; if not, I look forward to hearing from you.”
CCB and Mrs. Deelio (continued again)
CCB: Mr. Deelio should be a unibat for Halloween.
MRS. DEELIO: What’s a unibat?
CCB: It’s a unicorn and it’s a bat, duh.
MRS. DEELIO: I want you to draw me a picture.
CCB: Hold please…