Past Articles



Archive for 2007

07/22/2007

Bell’s Designated Drivers

When you’re too stewed to steer, they’ll get you in gear. Probably.   By Hannah Wallace   I got a press release a few weeks ago that set my heart all a-flutter: A couple of Sarasotans have started a DD service—Bell’s Designated Drivers (952-9383)—comprising two-person teams that drive your drunk ass home, in your own […]

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07/10/2007

Power Magnet

I don’t want to brag, but I keep attracting the most powerful people in town.     By Hannah Wallace   I am a powerful person magnet. True, 95 of our July issue’s “Sarasota’s 100 Most Powerful People” wouldn’t recognize me if I walked up and introduced myself. With a nametag. And a resume. But […]

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07/5/2007

Rockets’ Red Glare

Brushing the ashes out of my hair to examine explosive Independence Day traditions.   By Hannah Wallace   “Celebrate the independence of your nation by blowing up a small part of it.”—The Simpsons   Wandering around Pinellas Park on a sleepy, lazy, post-tonsil-infection Fourth, Alabama-grown CCB and I took in various amateur fireworks displays raining […]

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06/26/2007

On the Go

Parties, pet-sitting and Pa’s new play make this a busy week.     By Hannah Wallace   Of course, the week that I’m house- and dog-sitting for the Harribles—in damn Ellenton—would coincide with a number of things requiring me to be in Sarasota (not the least of which is work—as I discovered this morning, just […]

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06/18/2007

Keeping Them in Stitches

Little J. stood by me at  the clinic—but then he saw the blood.   By Hannah Wallace   My Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em tomboy childhood (and, well, adulthood, too) has left me with loads of scar stories to tell. Despite the idiocy revealed in these stories, I’ll readily explain how I got the line through […]

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06/12/2007

Cheetah, The Sequel

  I happily return to the scene of “naked chicks and booze.”   By Hannah Wallace   “I really, really enjoyed it. Very exotic!” —Phoebe, congratulating a stripper on Friends.   Ok, I can write about marathons and sailboats all I want, but I know what you all are really looking for: more Cheetah Club […]

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06/8/2007

Naked Games

Of sports, chauvinists and strip clubs.   By Hannah Wallace   “Mr. Treehorn treats objects like women, man.” –The Dude, The Big Lebowski   After trying to follow through on last entry’s promise of another gender-related rant—and succeeding in far too many words—I had to limit myself to mentioning only a couple Wheldon-aggravated issues bouncing […]

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06/6/2007

Let’s Talk About Sex

Is it PMS, my broken nail, or my innate, girlish feistiness that makes me want to strangle Dan Wheldon? By Hannah Wallace   Bear with me as I use this entry to mold a few ideas. (Thoughts rarely get set if they stay in my head; I find I need ideas made manifest so I […]

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05/30/2007

Weekend Recap

What I did with my Memorial Day vacation.   By Hannah Wallace   Cheetah Club Boyfriend declared it “a whole lotta weekend: beach, party-crashing attempts, basketball hats, ducks, comedy, deep-fried hot dogs, Stanley Cup finals and love bugs.”   (Add to that list last night’s Tool concert—which, oh my God, you guys, was so damn […]

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05/24/2007

Affordable Housing

  Be they ever so humble, our local pads are more than adequate.   By Hannah Wallace   I grew up in this town, so during my shaky post-college employment/unemployment roller-coaster-of-income, I’ve reverted back to rent-free living at the ‘rents more times than I care to admit. But when I’m not crashing in my childhood […]

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