It's not you—it’s them. According to both anecdotal stories and hard data, Sarasota is one of the worst places in the country for young single
women to date.

A recent study conducted by Porch, an online moving services company, found that just 14 percent of Sarasota and Manatee county residents are millennials. This means that of the 150 largest metropolitan areas in the United States, we rank dead last in residents between the ages of 26 and 42—the age range in which most Americans get married today. To make matters worse for women, there are 3.2 percent more women here than men. Nationwide, there are 1.2 percent more
men than women.

While the statistical odds of finding a partner are stacked against women, there are other factors at play that make finding a male significant other trying, according to Cristina Morara, a matchmaker and relationship expert.

“There is an embarrassment of riches in Sarasota when it comes to eligible, high-quality single women,” says Morara. Her business, Stellar Hitch, helps single
men and women find suitable partners. Morara confirms the gender gap in available women versus available men. “I have to charge women more than men because it takes more investigating to find good men,” she says. 

Part of this gulf is due to Sarasota’s dearth of college-educated men. According to an Atlantic study of metropolitan census data published a decade ago, for every five men under the age of 35 with a diploma, there are about nine collegeeducated
women. A college degree doesn’t always guarantee a good match, of course, but the data point underlines the mismatch between men and women in Sarasota.

Morara says another factor making dating difficult in Sarasota is our car culture. “People are in their cars going from point A to point B,” Morara says, “and they hope they’ll find someone interesting at point B. So you don’t have a lot of those delicious, in-between opportunities of bumping into someone on the street or striking up a conversation with someone while you’re waiting to get on the
subway.”

As a result, many people have to resort to online dating. Nicole Selph, a single
professional in her late 30s, laments being forced to use apps like Tinder to go on a
date and having to drive to other cities to meet up. “I feel like I have to expand my dating range to St. Pete or Tampa to find other young people,” she says. “Even Lakewood Ranch feels too far away. I’m like, ‘Oh God, I have to drive on the interstate to go meet someone?’”

There are other issues with online dating. Because of the lack of local young people, Selph increased her age range by 10 years, to 50. “The guy I was meeting said he was 51,” she says. “But when I met him, he ended up being 62.” Selph finds it hard not to give up on Sarasota’s dating scene. “You have to step away from it because it’s just so depressing,” she says. “Then you’re away from it for a while and you think maybe it’ll work this time, but then it’s just as bad as you remember. It reminds me of people who play scratch-off lotto tickets who think maybe they’ll win this time.”

Morara agrees that online dating has made meeting people more difficult. “Nobody wants to make eye contact anymore,” she says. “I think part of it was people getting locked up during Covid and now everyone lives online. Nobody wants to smile at strangers anymore. We’ve lost the art of conversation.”

She shares one story in which she was walking with one of her male clients and they passed a beautiful woman. “He said, ‘Oh, wow, just my type,’” says Morara. “We had just spent an hour talking about how to flirt and be confident, and I asked him why he didn’t approach her. He looked down and said he would just look for her online.”

Another factor is alcohol, which plays an outsized role in many first dates. Morara
suggests going on dates during the day to avoid the typical happy hour meetup.
“I’m really big on people joining groups and finding their tribe instead of going to
the bar,” she says. “Find interesting things to do, live your best life and be intentional, because that’s how you’ll attract people who have that quality you’re looking for.”